TRAUMA: Breaking Down the Word that Has Come to Mean Everything and Nothing

The word du-jour; the blame for all our problems; the joke we make about why we are the way we are: what are we talking about when we say "trauma?" This word has become a colloquialism that is beginning to lose its weight. Distrust grows around the perceived experience of being "traumatized" as we use it to talk about a full spectrum of our experiences. From the chronic suffering of survivors of war, to a child who did not receive enough affection from their parents, can one word truly encompass this much of the human experience and still be accurate?

I say: absolutely. Let's get into why.

Etymology of "Trauma"

The word "trauma" comes directly from the Greek word τραῦμα, meaning "wound."

When debating whether or not "trauma" should be an all-encompassing for the experience of human pain, let's consider how many different ways we can talk about our body sustaining a physical wound.

Cuts. Scrapes. Gashes. Broken bones. Internal bleeding. And on and on. We understand that the word "wound" can describe an injury that needs anything from a band-aid to surgery.

Now, apply this same concept to the myriad of ways we can become wounded emotionally, psychologically, and relationally. There are an infinite number of ways that we are hurt within and between people and society. What all of these afflictions - both seen an unseen - have in common is the experience of pain. This is how we know we have been hurt - we feel it.

When Does Pain Turn to Trauma?

Here is where things get a little more complicated: not all wounds or experiences of pain become something traumatic.

Let's go back to thinking about physical wounds. Imagine you are a child playing outside. You are running down a gravel drive when you lose your footing and fall to the ground, your knees and palms sustaining the impact of your landing. As you pick yourself up off the ground, you cry as you see blood starting to poke out of your scrapes, tiny rocks imbedding themselves in your skin, and the rising pain finally registers in your mind.

What happens after this is what matters most.

Before you can run back inside your house, your caretaker is already making their way to you. You meet their compassionate eyes with yours full of fear, and things are already stating to feel okay: help is here. They take you inside and place warm rags over your wounds, holding you and validating your pain as they do what needs to be done to clean out the injury. This always hurts worse before it gets better. Yet, the pain does end. Your caretaker covers your palms and knees in ointment and bandages before bringing you a popsicle and holding you in their arms. Your breathing returns to normal, your heartrate slows back down, and you can finally feel something other than the pain that took over your experience: safety, warmth, comfort.

You think to yourself, "That hurt really badly, but it's over."

Now, imagine a different ending to this story. One in which you fall, you cry, and no one is there to help you. Or maybe there is someone there, but they don't have resources or the knowledge to get you the help you need. Even worse: you may be yelled at for your expression of pain and told to keep it to yourself.

What would happen to the body untreated? The pain would infect, fester, and linger far beyond what is necessary. Without help to clear the infection, you may continue to cover yourself in clothing to hide your wounds so that you don't have to look at them. You may learn how to numb the pain with medication or substances. You may do all you can to ignore the fact that you have hands and knees, psychologically severing yourself from your body out of survival.

In this story, there is no resoltion. There is only a continuation of pain.

This is trauma. A soul overwhelmed and left to cope in ways that are other than optimal will build its life around pain-mitigation and survival. As long as the injury remains, there is only partial safety in life.

Healing from Traumatic Experiences

Judith Herman, a pioneer in the world of trauma research, talks about the ways our body remembers pain in a beautiful way. This storage of memory - whether implicit or explicit - shows that our body is wired for justince. Our wounds will cry out until things are made right. We are built to heal, and our pain tells us where that needs to happen.

While the idea of this is romantic and wonderful, the reality is horrific; nightmares, flashbacks, physical pain, autoimmune disorders, relational challenges, and mood instability plague the one who has trauma in their bones. Being humans that are primarily wired for survival, we respond to this pain in the natural ways we are wired to do so: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Repressing the memory, avoiding the trigger, numbing the pain, and negotiating with the perpetrator all seem preferable to the only other option: facing and feeling.

And yet, this is where healing lies. As the higher part of us overrides our innate instinct to fight off a threat, we do the paradoxical: we run towards the pain with open arms.

This is how we heal.

Practical strategies

This where things become complicated again. We often cannot do this healing on our own. We need the safety of others - family, friends, community, a therapist - to hold us while we face the ghosts that haunt us. If we aren't anchored in safety and relationship, our mission may fail.

Therapy provides a space where we can sit with someone who knows how to name the origin of your wounds, diagnose their severity, and determine your course of treatment. Some of us need a bandaid. Others need physical therapy. For others, surgery is the only way forward. And as scary as all of this sounds... there is a way forward.

What Do I do if I feel have trauma in my life?

1. You are not alone.

Trauma is a part of the human experience. No one comes through life unscathed. Breathe and know you are facing something as old as time and that your willingness to heal does more than you could ever imagine,

2. know that it is okay to be scared

We often fear what will happen if we address the issues we have been chronically avoiding. This is normal. And yet, we have so much internal capacity to handle these wounds in the right context.

3. Ask for help

Talk to someone you trust about what you are experiencing. Trauma makes us feel isolated and out of control. Talking to others ,ets us experience being held and understood.

4. Seek professional help

Trauma therapists know how to help. We are trained to listen intently to you to help you name what is keeping you in pain and stuck. And we have strategies to safely walk you through it.

The amazing thing is that we actually do not have to be defined by our wounds forever.

In summation

Everyone has felt the sting of trauma, but not everyone needs therapy for it. However, if you feel as though your pain is impedeing your life, relationships, and view of the world, it may be time to reach out to talk to a professional.

At Being Human Therapy we help people whose pain has been in the driver's seat for far too long.

There is hope. You can live a life that is not dictated by pain.

Reach out for a free consultation if you woud like to discuss how you can begin this journey.